Away to the USA
by wolfrun1
Summary: Team 7 is on a mission to find an American hidden village in one of the 50 state capitols.
1. Washington, DC

Disclaimer: I got the idea from StarfireGreencoon

Disclaimer: I got the idea from StarfireGreencoon. Blah, blah, blah, not my characters.

The plane landed smoothly on the tarmac of airport.

"The ninja have landed." A security guard whispered into his ear piece.

"We can see that." Another voice answered through the head set.

"The doors are opening." The security guard spoke again into his ear piece.

"Stop stating the obvious." The doors were, in fact, opening. "Wait, where are the stairs?"

"Not in front of the plane."

"I know that, jackass. But _where_ are the stairs? What's the point in opening the door if they can't—" At that moment, a raven-haired boy fell out of the open door and face-planted into the ground. "—get out." The guard finished his sentence and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Sasuke-kun!" a pink-haired girl screamed from the door of the jet. As she did, a blonde boy jumped down thirty feet from the door to the ground below.

"Scared of flying?" The boy laughed as he knelt next to the fallen raven-haired teen. "Huh, Sasuke-_chan_?"

The grounded boy mumbled a few unintelligible words into the dirt, but "shut up" and "Usuratonkachi" were easily heard as he stood up.

The pink-haired girl along with a grey-haired man approached the security guard who met them half-way.

"Are…are you the ninjas?" Behind his black shades were confused eyes.

"Uh, yeah." The grey-haired man was also a bit confused. "Can't you tell?"

"It's just that, well, they look a little young." The guard pointed at the two approaching boys and then at the pinkette. "And you look a bit too old." The blonde laughed when the guard said that.

"Naruto!" The pinkette smacked the blonde on the back of his head. Sasuke smirked.

"Ow, Sakura-chan, that hurt." Naruto complained.

"I'm twenty-six." Kakashi rubbed the back of his head.

"Oh, sorry." The guard almost blushed from embarrassment. "But what about the kids."

"We start this job at a very young age."

"I guess that makes since. Well, follow me." The guard turned to walk towards a long, black limo.

"What the hell is this thing?" Sasuke stopped in front of the open car door. Everyone else had already climbed in.

"It's a car." A new guard said from the front seat.

"What does it do?" Naruto asked from the farthest seat from the front. Sasuke rolled his eye. Why would someone get in something if they didn't know what it was?

"It, um, drives…well, moves on wheels. It takes you places."

"I can run. Where are we going?"

"Just get in the damned thing." Kakashi pulled the stubborn Uchiha into the limo before he had a chance to walk away.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So where _are_ we going?" Sakura asked after ten minutes of _driving_.

"The White House." The driver answered. "It's in D.C.—you'll meet our president there."

"Is that what you call your kage?" Sasuke asked to distract himself from the moving death trap—the _car_.

"Our what?"

"Your leader." Sasuke's short nails dug deeper into the leather seats. It was as if he was holding on for dear life.

"Um, sure. He's our leader."

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura turned to face the object of her obsession. "Are you okay?"

"Fine!" Sasuke snapped angrily to conceal his one and only fear. The fear of automated transportation. "I'm fine. How do you choose this_ president_? Are there certain requirements?" He decided to continue on with the previous conversation.

"They need to be born in the US, 35, elected by the people—."

"You get to choose your leader?" Kakashi shook his head in disapproval. "There's no way that could be good."

"It doesn't. You'll see."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They arrived at the White House. Most—Sakura and Naruto—were shocked by the size of the mansion. The inside completely blew their minds—it was huge! Even the oval office was at least twice the size of the Hokage's. In it, the president sat at his desk. He stood up when the shinobi entered followed by the guard.

"Who are they?" The old man asked as he stood—still behind his desk.

"They are the ninja from Japan's fire nation." A portly man whispered to answer the question.

"They look like terrorists, Dick."

"I don't mean to sound rude", Kakashi spoke up. He thought it was mean to call the man a dick; he was only trying to help. "We _are_ the ninja, President-sama."

"Sama!" the president threw up his hands in protest. "I am not and will never be related to that terrorist, Osama. My name is George W. Bush, ya' hear?"

"Sorry. I mean President _Bush_." Kakashi apologized.

"Wait a minute." Bush interrupted again. "If you're the ninjas, that means you're from Japan. How can you speak American?"

"If you mean English—"

"No, no, no!" Bush, once again, cut off the grey-haired man. "I'm a pure-bred American. Born and raised in this great nation. I am, therefore I speaks, American. English is what those tea-drinkers down in England speak."

"We learned before we got here." Kakashi spoke quickly to prevent anymore cuts.

"Why did you/we come here again?" Naruto and Bush asked at the same time.

"To find a new hidden village."

"I've never seen any hidden villages." Bush shook his head.

"That's because it's…hidden." Kakashi explained. "So, do we have permission to search for it?"

"Yes." Dick Cheney answered.

"I want to look too." Bush whined to his VP. Dick shook his head.

"You have work to do."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The ninja left the office shortly after.

"What was with that guy?" Sakura asked when they got out side.

"He was an even bigger idiot than this Dobe." Sasuke shook his head in disapproval.

"Yeah….Hey!" Naruto realized who Sasuke was talking about.

"I take that back." Sasuke said and Naruto relaxed. "Nobody could ever be that dumb." Lucky for everyone, Naruto didn't get it.

"So, where are we off to first?" The blonde asked eagerly. Kakashi pulled out a map.

"Well, it's not here in D.C. So I guess we should check all of the capitols. Starting with…the one in Florida."

"How will we get there?" Sakura asked. Sasuke prayed hard.

"We're flying, of course." Kakashi smiled under his mask. Chibi inner-Sasuke cursed as it ran around his brain.

Tell me what you think so I can decide whether to continue or not.


	2. Tallahass, I mean, Orlando, Fl

"OK, our flight leaves at 12:30. That's in…" Kakashi looked down at his new wristwatch that he'd purchased in one of those neat, little airport gift shops, "…30 minutes."

"OK!" Two of the three genin said in unison. The third was busy looking at the flight schedules flashing on the screens next to him.

"Wait a minute, Kakashi. We—"

"—Sasuke, how many times do I have to tell you to call me sensei?"

The Uchiha glared at the older man. "…_Sensei_, we don't leave at 12:30. The flight to Tallahassee is at—"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk" The grey-haired jonin shook his head. "Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, we're not going to 'Tallahassee'…." Kakashi made invisible air quotes. "We're going to Orlando."

"…_Orlando_…?" Sasuke pulled out his map of the US, also purchased in the gift shop. "But…but Orlando is a lot farther south than Tallahassee—"

"—only about 20 or 30 minutes."

"And it's not the capital!"

"So?"

"The village would be in the capital of whatever state it's in!"

"But Orlando is the most important city."

"Yeah, teme, Orlando is more important!" Naruto said as he ate his slice of pizza. Kakashi told him that this was the best opportunity to try new foods.

"What do you know!?" People were only slightly staring at them now.

"I know that's where Disney World is!"

"Naruto, stop talking—I think his curse seal is opening up!" Sakura started screaming.

"Sakura, stand behind Naruto. I'll handle this." A large circle was slowly forming around the four.

There was a slight scream from a few surprised by-standers when Sasuke fell over suddenly.

_USA_

"Ungh…where…where am I?"

"On a plane" A way too happy voice said next to Sasuke. He looked up from where his head was resting and then jerked over so fast that he slammed into the sleeping person on the other side of him.

"H-how long was I sleeping l-like that!?"

Sakura blushed and looked down to avoid the love of her life's scared eyes. He must be embarrassed when it comes to things like that, the poor baby (yeah, right :P), "Only a few minutes…maybe an hour."

Chibi inner-Sasuke was freaking out, real Sasuke was pretending to calm down. 'I can't believe my head was in…in her lap! I bet she did it on purpose, crazy! Oh, God, now I'm going to smell like cherries and girly shit! Naruto already thinks I'm gay, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'

Sasuke wanted to cry now, but that's really out of character for him.

"Huh!" The sound came from the person Sasuke had slammed into moments ago. "Teme, get off of me!" Naruto tried to push him off. He had been woken up suddenly and was already mad. "I don't swing that way and why do you smell like cherries!"

"Quiet down, you two" Their teacher said from the row behind them. "We're about to land and I don't want to have to carry _two_ unconscious children off the plane—getting one _on_, by itself, brought about many questions from the plane staff."

_USA_

"Sasuke, how much time are you going to spend in there? Sakura is getting worried about you."

"Shut…shut up!" Sasuke ordered in between hurls. "I…I don't care…about what she thinks!"

"Teme, I hate the smell of these airport bathrooms! Hurry up and finish puking!"

"Shut up, it couldn't smell worse than your apartment!"

The door to the stall was pulled off the hinges and Sasuke was grabbed by the collar.

"You're done, we're leaving, and Disney World's waiting."

_USA_

"How are we supposed to find anything here?"

"Well, we can't find anything from down here" Kakashi answered as he looked up. The real answer was just coming into view. "So we'll use those."

Sasuke's eyes followed Kakashi's gaze.

"Cool!" Naruto yelled. "I've never been on a—"

"—Sensei, where'd Sasuke-kun go?"

"Dammit, I should have known he'd try to run away. Everyone, split up, fan-out, and search for him."

They all disappeared into different directions.

_USA_

"I found him!" Naruto yelled after he pinned his teammate to the ground.

"No, Naruto, get off of me, you idiot!"

"It's too late, Sasuke." The grey-haired jonin said as he approached them, Sakura not far behind him.

"No it's not!" Sasuke yelled as he threw his blonde comrade off of him and began to form hand signs.

_Tweet_

"You think you can beat me with that?" Kakashi waved his hands in the air. "I taught it to you!"

_Tweet, tweet_

Once again, the four were getting much more attention then they needed.

"Chidori!"

_Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet, __**TWEET**__!_

By this time, people were either screaming, backing away slowly, or pulling out their cameras and cell phones.

"_This is totally going on Youtube!"_

Sasuke ran forward only to have his hand grabbed by Kakashi. He was then thrown into a nearby concession stand. From the dust and debris came about ten Sasuke illusions.

"Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Naruto made ten more clones of himself, each going after a Sasuke. "Gotcha'!" He yelled when he found the real one.

Kakashi pulled out some rope. "You _will_ ride the rollercoaster."

_USA_

Later that day…

"_It was just amazing…."_

"I told you we wouldn't find anything."

"_It seems like super heroes really do exist in this world…."_

"You shouldn't be so negative. It just means that the village isn't in Florida."

"But we didn't even go to the—"

"—Teme, you're on television!"

"_But with every super hero, comes a super villain…."_

Sasuke turned to face the hotel tv.

"_Yes, the Lightning Duck…"_

"_DUCK_!?"

"Shh!"

"… _great abilities of destruction. He has the power to draw electricity to his hands and can be clearly identified by his read eyes and strangely shaped hair._

"_The one who seems to be the hero, the Grey Fang as fans have come to know him…"_

"'Come to know him'? It only happened, like, five hours ago!"

"_And we can't forget his young side-kick, Bob."_

"_You're right, Cheryl. The boy known now as the Cloning Cat…"_

"OH, HELL NO!"

"Shh!"

"…_and they can jump to amazing heights._

"_There was also a fourth member who some say might have been apart of this…"_

"Hey, Sakura-chan, that's you!"

"…_but, according to witnesses, she's completely useless. Anyways, she can be identified by her pink hair and green eyes. We'll call her 'Sakura' after the Japanese word for pink and cherry-blossom._

"_Which brings us to our last bit of information—according to our resources and the videos we have, it seems that the four supers all speak the Japanese language…. Wait a moment, our translators have just informed us of the conversation they were having during battle. It is as follows:_

'_I found him._

'_No, Nerutu, get off me, you idiot._

'_It's too late, Sasookee._

'_No, it's not._

'_You think you can beat me with that? I taught it to you._

'_Lesbians'…. W-wait, a-are you serious!? Did this guy seriously yell 'lesbians'? You've got to be kiddin' me!"_

"_To continue the translation while Bob goes to speak with the translators,_

'_Art of shadow doppelgangers….Gotcha'_

'_You will ride the… the rollercoaster' No. No! This entire fight was not about—!"_

Kakashi turned the television off.

"OK, tomorrow is our flight to Atlanta, Georgia. Everybody pack up and be ready to leave early tomorrow morning. We need to have energy if we're going to hold a transformation jutsu all day."

To be continued….

Hope you liked it. Please review!

Oh, and about the lesbians thing, I was reading a book on Japanese street slang (don't ask) and there was a section on lesbians and they called them "chidori". And, you know, that's actually quite funny seeing how Kakashi made a point in telling the 4th Hokage that the move was named after him….


End file.
